How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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