Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
