Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Small penises have feelings too.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
