I hate all girls vehemently.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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