how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
