I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
