How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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