I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
