he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
