You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
