At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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