dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
