Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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