At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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