so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
