I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
