it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
