I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize