I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
