Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.

  (661): View more from California

  Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.

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  (480): I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED. (661): Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand. http://tfl.nu/omij
  Replies (16) Good night (3666) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.

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  (206): I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work. http://tfl.nu/jzpk
  Replies (31) Good night (3686) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet

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  (239): Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet http://tfl.nu/je6a
  Replies (30) Good night (1012) Bad night (8801)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

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  (503): She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis. http://tfl.nu/3s19
  Replies (47) Good night (8842) Bad night (2235)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell

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  (270): I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell http://tfl.nu/jfse
  Replies (17) Good night (5923) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.

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  (620): The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us. http://tfl.nu/uobg
  Replies (3) Good night (3961) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.

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  (402): I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious. http://tfl.nu/b9xl
  Replies (12) Good night (3822) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table

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  (225): we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table http://tfl.nu/ufec
  Replies (13) Good night (2242) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!

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  (770): She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?! http://tfl.nu/j94r
  Replies (18) Good night (562) Bad night (2059)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON

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  (610): BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON http://tfl.nu/ic7e
  Replies (17) Good night (1590) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that

  (972): View more from Texas

  How awkward

  (214): View more from Texas

  Yeah it's pretty fucked up

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  (214): They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that (972): How awkward (214): Yeah it's pretty fucked up http://tfl.nu/97bk
  Replies (6) Good night (647) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick

  (1-714): View more from California

  Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!

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  (714): She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick (1-714): Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/q4sd
  Replies (3) Good night (1554) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm

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  (316): I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm http://tfl.nu/e7hi
  Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life

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  (978): So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life http://tfl.nu/9wbt
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (153)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.

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  (619): You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off. http://tfl.nu/vzep
  Replies (2) Good night (114) Bad night (292)

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