Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket

  (212): View more from New York

  Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......

  (212): View more from New York

  Really

  (941): View more from Florida

  You win

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket (212): Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants...... (212): Really (941): You win http://tfl.nu/2qfe
  Replies (4) Good night (2715) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet. http://tfl.nu/p26k
  Replies (36) Good night (1307) Bad night (4489)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  dollar beers will do that to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning. (1-630): dollar beers will do that to you. http://tfl.nu/e57v
  Replies (26) Good night (2745) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile. http://tfl.nu/zkhz
  Replies (30) Good night (940) Bad night (3370)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/ti46
  Replies (13) Good night (3428) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  why was he too nerdy?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he was a tetris block for halloween

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): why was he too nerdy? (919): he was a tetris block for halloween http://tfl.nu/svcq
  Replies (56) Good night (5642) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store http://tfl.nu/cjt7
  Replies (23) Good night (10593) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i had confetti in my bra

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): i had confetti in my bra (1-210): i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me http://tfl.nu/08sl
  Replies (25) Good night (4208) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible. http://tfl.nu/lobz
  Replies (15) Good night (4192) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever http://tfl.nu/aala
  Replies (8) Good night (2763) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now. http://tfl.nu/gokp
  Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (2205)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS http://tfl.nu/4o5n
  Replies (5) Good night (1796) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand . http://tfl.nu/gg9e
  Replies (22) Good night (1244) Bad night (3006)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why did you want to do any of that?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away. (1-814): Why did you want to do any of that? (814): If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them. http://tfl.nu/bo9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1275) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested http://tfl.nu/1943
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (306)

Randomize