Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....

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(678): View more from Georgia

You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.

(404): View more from Georgia

Do you think he can smell the vodka?

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody

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(660): View more from Missouri

what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?

(816): View more from Missouri

um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan

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(310): View more from California

Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.

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(858): View more from California

I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"

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