And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
