my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
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we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
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So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?