I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.