I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
