you guys were way drunker than both of me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
