So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
