I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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