she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she pinky promised me she was 18
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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