she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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