i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
MIDGETS
????
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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