So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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