Are my feet made of real feet?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica