That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
