Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
"it" just moved
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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