I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
