I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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