just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
