Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This gyro tastes like lonliness
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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