what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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