Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
