Sry I called you an 8
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's official drugs can't kill me
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
