he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
