he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
