it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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