Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The adults are the big ones right?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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