i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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