Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
