it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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