I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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