everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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