I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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