so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
