I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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