my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
