i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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