I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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