Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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