don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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