We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Randomize
