can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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