I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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