Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
