i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
