u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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