i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
