where am i from again
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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