If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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