Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
