we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is Oprah even human
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
