did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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