Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
