so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
