i will never coherently bang her
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
